Monday is such a nightmare for most people that it’s a paradox for Brexit, a study has found.

The study, carried out by Swansea University and funded by some left over European money, concluded that the day is such a venture into the abyss that it can be the work of only the devil, or Michael Gove.

Researcher Pete Bowen said: “For many of us, there’s no ‘good deal’ here. It’s Monday, it’s happening and probably under the stewardship of some incompetent boss and heinous middle managers.

“You’ve read the fine print of your contract retrospectively, you didn’t realise you were signing up for this mess. But here you are, gearing up for a weekly team meeting with 10 or so of your equally remorseful colleagues.

“You’re living Brexit.”

Call centre employee Theresa Connell said: “I used to think Monday was Fabian Way traffic but after reading this I agree that it’s Brexit.

“I went to use the vending machine, last week my pound bought me a chicken soup and now the chicken soup is £1.25. I only have a pound.

“Monday really is Brexit.”

Nurse Rob Gray said: “My Polish colleague resigned because of Brexit and I’ve had to do the work of two people today.

“I’ve been promised a new colleague but we can’t find one now. We have no control over anything and I’m scared!”

Bowen added: “You thought you had control over Monday, didn’t you? Well guess what, someone else controls all this and will continue to even post Monday.

“Is your Monday so bad that you think you may fancy a change in career? Good luck finding one now!

“Monday is very, very Brexit. It’s the furthest point from any reprieve, or the weekend. You just have to come to terms with what you’ve done now and try to survive until Tuesday, but even Tuesday is a Conservative Government.”

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