A six year old who’s off to meet Santa again today is just going through the motions for the sake of his parents, it’s been revealed.
Young Pete Bowen from Dunvant, who’s off to see Santa again because his Mother hasn’t got the ‘right’ pictures for Instagram yet, made the confession to an elf in Wyevale yesterday afternoon.
Pete said: “In the old days, like when I was 4, Christmas was magical and my trips to see Santa were wonderfully terrifying to the point I’d cry inconsolably.
“Now I feel like we’ve just had enough of each other.
“I play the game, of course I do. ‘Ooh look, a disheveled reindeer’, I say. ‘Ah there’s that mechanical fucking penguin again, pic sounds great Mum, what filter will you use with this one? Shall I smile or put one hand on my hip and pretend I always pose like a model for pictures?’”
Pete’s Mum Theresa said: “He loves seeing Santa and I love getting out of the house to escape my unfulfilling marriage.
“Seeing all these different Santa’s every other day is a fantastic way for Pete to have more of a presence on my social media accounts, and to get excited about all the presents I’ve bought him that he didn’t ask for.”
Pete continued: “It’s not all bad, I’m quite well acquainted with Phil who plays the Santa in the Waterfront Museum and he’s promised to take me away from all of this once his next DBS check has cleared. Whatever that means.
“At least she’s not taking me to church where there’s a good chance I’d be assaulted.”
Elf Rob Gray added: “I told Pete to enjoy it because his parents will probably try Dry January and will be unbearable.
“Take the bath toy I lovingly acquired for you from B&M Bargains and give your Mam a nice pout.”
photo credit: pka78-2 <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/150416293@N04/37748694155″>santaclaus</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>