The Conservative Government, who gifted £1bn to the DUP after their election disaster, want to make sure the Tidal Lagoon is ‘value for money’ because they’re so meticulously careful about where they spend money and for what gain.

The news comes after Alun Cairns was grilled by MPs on the Welsh affairs committee, which was partly to discuss Welsh affairs, but mainly to remind Mr Cairns he’s actually meant to be doing something to help Wales.

Tory spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “We need to be very careful about spending money, especially in an area we don’t like to think exists and who vote Labour anyway. It’s not exactly London is it?

“We had a billion floating around in June, but we had to, er, divert some funding elsewhere for, er, completely legitimate political reasons.

“That billion could’ve funded the project, but we sort of made out we didn’t have it because magic money trees and stuff like that. We’ve got a number of billion actually and could borrow some more at really low interest rates, but if we invested some of it then people wouldn’t use food banks anymore and all those volunteers would have to stay at home.

“We’re building a Country that works for everyone. Come join our big society!”

photo credit: Department for Transport (DfT) <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/39603427@N08/31476940763″>Severn Crossing tolls consultation</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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