WhatsApp groups for parents of children in primary schools across Swansea are breaking up for Christmas today.

For the next two weeks, parents will have to find new ways to occupy themselves for two hours a day without having meaningless conversations with other parents about lucky dips.

Theresa Connell from Loughor said: “I’m going to really miss checking what everyone else’s children are going to wear to school. I’m always unsure, but I maintain you can’t really go wrong with a cagoule.

“The last day has been fun so far, about ten parents were asking if it was non school uniform day at 7am and then we all had a really long exchange about what Christmas clothes they were allowed to wear.

“We could just check the Newsletter from school which tells us everything we need to know, but we’re all way too needy to just do that.”

Pete Bowen from West Cross added: “Things were a bit competitive this week because we all wanted to contribute more than everyone else for the teacher’s present.

“It was like a friendly auction for a group of passive aggressive individuals who pretend to be friends but quietly judge each other.”

Cheryl Gray from Dunvant said: “I would get separation anxiety but me and some of the more popular parents have set up a separate group for just us.

“It’s really important that we maintain a forum where we can slag other parents off and hilariously keep asking each other if it’s too early for wine.

“Why is my life so empty?”

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