A Brynmill woman who’s trying to find out if she’ll be able to use crypto currency to acquire a new restrictive, but fiercely patriotic, blue passport has inadvertently summed up how obscure 2017 was.

In an added twist, Theresa Connell, 39, made the request to a little device in her kitchen called ‘Alexa’ to further shun the dull and conventional iPad that once existed in 2016.

Theresa said: “I got into Bitcoin when someone I know on Facebook spoke knowledgeably about it by being really patronising about people who weren’t as successful as him. I mean, he works for Virgin in the call centre, so he knows what he’s talking about.

“I also based my decision to vote Leave purely on the aesthetic of a passport, which I can only really remember being burgundy in my lifetime, but I read Winston Churchill had said he wanted the blue passport back for our troops, so that swung it for me.”

Theresa continued: “I thought asking Alexa if I could use Bitcoin to buy a blue passport would just confirm what I wanted to hear, but Alexa is obviously owned by the bias BBC or The Guardian because it refused to give me an answer.”

Professor Pete Bowen from Swansea University said: “As strange as it sounds, people buying fake currencies and being so dreadfully narrow minded as to think a blue passport solves some sort of problem is what 2017 has been all about.

“Next year we’re expecting people to become very excited about mining for electronic gold and more curved bananas.

“I’d be concerned but the country’s sinking into such a hole with all the idiots that nothing really matters anymore.”

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