Ever wondered why equality is a good thing? Do you sit with your tongue out, patiently waiting for all that wealth to trickle down so you can have a taste? Does the Telegraph and Daily Mail tell you what to think? Chances are you may well be a Tory.

Of course all of the above confirms nothing, so we’ve pieced together a scientifically unproven quiz to help you come to terms with who you are.

You’ve woken up this morning with a headache. Do you:

  1. Take some paracetamol and drink some water to rehydrate yourself.
  2. Blame the last Labour Government.

You’re late to get home to your partner, they’ve made you dinner and they’re annoyed. Do you:

  1. Tell them the truth about why you’re late.
  2. Blame a minority for this and all other wrongs that occur in your life.

You pass a food bank and peer in. Do you:

  1. Look on, baffled at how in this day and age people have to rely on foodbanks. Many working people in what used to be stable and well paid jobs.
  2. Feel a huge amount of pride in the growth of this wonderful new sector and begin to carve out an opportunity in your mind to privatise it.

An arsonist burns down your house, but because of cuts to public services there’s no police or fire service available. Do you:

  1. Feel bewildered about the level of risk everyone is under at the moment for pointless cuts.
  2. Bemoan public sector workers as being freeloaders who should do more with less.

On a trip to London, you see a malnourished family standing next to a wealthy banker. Do you:

  1. Question what this country has become.
  2. Bask in the glory of that wonderful banker and aspire to be them, while cursing the family for probably mis-claiming tax credits or something.

You purchase a train ticket and realise the fare has shot up. As you wait for the train to arrive, as it’s delayed, again, do you:

  1. Feel mightily aggrieved and frustrated by all of this.
  2. Come up with the solution that giving profitable private rail companies hundreds of millions of tax payers pounds will probably sort it all out.

If you scored mostly 1’s then you are not a Tory. If you scored mostly 2’s, you may receive a call from Theresa May asking you to join her cabinet – particularly if you’re a white male with  interests in private healthcare firms.


photo credit: The Prime Minister’s Office <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/49707497@N06/39597560371″>Cabinet Meeting</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;