Story idea: Rich Griffiths

Morally bankrupt Channel 5 have have been slammed for their latest new series called ‘Dancing on Spice’, which films users of synthetic cannabis trying to dance.

The channel, which has brought us terrible programming such as ‘My Benefits Cat’ and ‘Let’s Evict Poor People and Laugh at Them’ have been filming in the city over the last two days.

Producer Pete Bowen told us: “We’re all about innovative, people baiting television here at Channel 5.

“We figured we’d lift the dance concept that’s been so successful for the BBC and ITV, then because we’re soulless shits we also thought we’d film people in zombie like states at the same time.

“For added humour we’ve got Jim Davidson on voiceover who’ll be providing some hilarious sexist anecdotes. Remember when you voted for him to win Celebrity Big Brother? What was that about?”

Local Support Worker Theresa Connell said: “I’m not sure who enjoys watching the exploitation of people, but I wish they’d stop.

“Trying to get a user of spice to do the Charleston is just gutter television.”

Channel 5’s Bowen added: “I don’t see what the problem is, we have to mock someone.

“We’re proud of the fact we’ve evicted half of the people in Britain, so mocking substance misuse is the next obvious move.

“We’ve already commissioned ‘Celebrity Dancing on Spice’ with Henry Bolton and some tw*t from Love Island confirmed.”

photo credit: dotben <a href=”″>Stowe Boyd getting down</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;