Swansea Council has confirmed the loud bangs heard on Gower yesterday evening were controlled explosions, which blew the last two remaining bendy buses to smithereens.  

The explosions, carried out by vehicle demolition experts from Penlan, took place near Weobley Castle in Llanrhidian in front of a crowd of drunken, cheering councillors.

Council spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “Inheriting the bendy buses and shambolic road network from the previous administration was as disappointing as falling in love with someone, only to discover they vote Conservative.

“First Cymru have had desires to try and recoup some losses from the buses, but we’ve been baying for blood/diesel for quite some time, so when Rob Stewart said we could blow them up as part of some team building exercise, we were delighted.

“The buses were lined up next to each other and while the demolition lads doused them in petrol, we downed whisky, chucked rocks through the windows and completed a victory dance on the roofs. Some of us were naked.

“Things got a little out of hand when one of the councillors got carried away and accidently urinated on one of the Penlan boys, but it was all in good spirit.”

First Cymru spokesperson Theresa Connell added: “One of our ftrmetro conductors went down to pay his respects and found himself locked inside while two councillors tried to push the bus over, completely unacceptable behaviour.

“We’d hoped to use the carriages as some sort of restaurant on wheels, like Mike’s Breakfast Bus which used to be in Landore. Failing that a sex bus of some description.”

Mr Bowen added: “Next time we’re going to take turns driving a bulldozer over Castle Square.”

photo credit: ndl642m <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/30581663@N05/15156901292″>First Cymru – 19029</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;