Tedious chat about the most tedious of ‘sports’ will start at around 8:30am and then end at midday today, it’s been confirmed.

Golf, a hobby at best and popular with people who don’t like spending time with their families and like to talk loudly about past successes, will be a fleetingly trending subject in workplaces in Swansea this morning.

Gorseinon based Administrator Pete Bowen said: “I’m waiting for the ‘wow, did you see The Masters last night’ question this morning. Like it’s remotely worthy of a ‘wow’, it’s golf.

“They’ll speak with the same enthusiasm me and my mates spoke about Basic Instinct when we were 13. Except golf is terrible and I can’t masturbate over it, although if I masturbated more I’d be more like a golfer.”

Landore Surveyor Theresa Connell added: “I tried to watch it this year just so I could join in the golf chat at the office and I lasted all of 5 minutes.

“A guy in a pink shirt was celebrating winning a green jacket, which sounds like a dreadful combination, maybe if the green was a pastel colour, but not that racing green and definitely not with those buttons.

“I balked at how enthusiastic the Americans were but then I remembered my colleague Rob is like it too and he’s from Brynmill.”

Theresa’s colleague Rob added: “Did you see that birdie on the 8th? That was special and so exhilarating to watch. Right? Right?

“I feel so alone.”

photo credit: wuestenigel <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/30478819@N08/37819424052″>Golfplatz</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;