Meghan Markle’s Dad Thomas is rumoured to be hiding out in Penlan, because no one up there would grass him up to the paparazzi.

The troubled father of Meghan and catnip for Daily Mail readers, apparently relocated to Penlan yesterday in order to get some peace and order into his life.

When questioned about Mr Markle, local lad Pete Bowen said: “Maybe. Maybe not. Who’s asking?

“If, and I mean if he has moved in, then he’s done it to get away from his and his new son in law’s batshit crazy families. I don’t blame him, at least we’re normal.”

Alleged neighbour Rob Gray said: “I’ll tell you what I tell the old bill mush. No comment.

“I’m no grass and he may be one of us now. If he has moved in he’s here for life now, no one ever wants to leave unless they have to. Like when you have to go to A&E and stuff.”

Local woman Theresa Connell added: “There’s a code of honour in Penlan and snitches get stitches.

“Unless there’s something in it for me my lips are sealed. I’m sure he and I will get on fine.”

photo credit: macsurak <a href=”″>Meghan Markle 2013</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;