The Conservative Party have nonchalantly confirmed that any budget for the Tidal Lagoon was spent ‘quite some time ago’ on an arrangement with some people who don’t like abortions and gays.

The budget, said to be around £1.5bn, left the Government’s account last June and has been absent ever since.

Tory spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “Tidal Lagoon? Oh we blew any possible budget for that last year. Wait, did no one tell you?

“In some ways there’s a lot of similarities, both involve an investment in exchange for power. It’s just that this power is more beneficial for keeping us in charge of the country, despite being terrible.

“The tidal power thing probably wouldn’t have done us much good in terms of buying votes, not as far as I’m aware anyway. No one at CCHQ actually read up on it in the end!”

Swansea Councillor Theresa Connell said: “It’s a shame because it would’ve benefited the economy and reduced unemployment.

“Of course there’s arguments for and against the scheme, but I’m not sure anyone’s even attempted to have a chat about it.

“There’s a rumour flying around that Alun Cairnes lost his booster seat so was excused from lagoon related meetings, and that the meetings were always when he was having his nap.

“I guess we’ll never know the truth. Possibly ever again about anything.”

Mr Bowen added: “You really should’ve asked for a progress update earlier.”

photo credit: DUP Photos <a href=”″>Arlene Foster in East Belfast</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;