Parents across Swansea are pulling their best ‘it’s the taking part that counts’ as sports day arrives for another year.
The parents, fuelled by wild desire for victory at any cost, will clap, smile and congratulate other children through gritted teeth before enduring the final shame that is the parent race.
Year 2 Dad Pete Bowen said: “Its not about winning, which is why I’ve only spent 14 hours analysing Usain Bolt’s technique with my 8 year old.
“I’m not going to trip over my own feet in the parents race this year either and I’ll be taking full advantage of the lack of testing for anabolic steroids.”
Reception Mum Theresa Connell said: “My daughter’s egg and spoon brings shame upon our family.
“I’m trying to get her to hold the egg with her thumb, but her fingers are all stumpy and useless. It’s all about the foam javelin this year, I’ve told her to pretend it’s like Mummy throwing Daddy into the shed when he comes home drunk after work on Friday nights.”
Year 5 Dad Rob Gray added: “After six years of disappointment which has nearly torn our family apart, I have a feeling this is our year.
“I’ve bought our son a Swansea Harriers running vest without paying for lessons and plan to show my son’s friend Frankie’s Dad who’s in charge in the Dad race.
“Yeah that’s right Mr BMW X5 with your luscious hair and sexy wife, I’m going beat the shit out of you.”
photo credit: Robert Couse-Baker <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/29233640@N07/32860450940″>daily morning run</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a>