A woman is so engrossed in the PTA at her child’s school that she’s leaving her husband for it.

39 year old Theresa Connell has been married to husband Pete for six years, but had her head turned by the raffle obsessed organisation last year when her son started school.

Theresa said: “I decided I wanted to improve my own self-importance and patronising tone of voice, so the PTA seemed like the best direction to take.

“I was nervous going to my first meeting, but when I walked into that classroom of self-proclaimed ‘larger than life’ parents I was sold. Especially when one of them quipped that the PTA actually stood for ‘Pass The Alcohol’. Hysterical!

“No in all seriousness it’s all very important work, there’s little time for jokes and laughter. It’s meticulously scheduled for 20 seconds twice a year.”

Husband Pete said: “I just wanted a quiet life so encouraged Theresa go join the PTA, despite having previously dubbed the acronym as ‘Parents To Avoid’.

“She went from manically positive at breakfast time to foaming beast after drop off when someone would forget to bring in something red for the tombola.

“I’m better off without her, I was going to leave her for a Lazy Boy chair anyway.”

Theresa continued: “Now the PTA is in my life I have no need for a husband. I get my orgasms from announcing school fete profits in the PTA newsletter.

“Anyway, I simply must dash because I have to go and overstate how busy I am to other parents and flash my lipstick stained teeth at them.”

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