The inflatable Donald Trump baby will replace Alun Cairns as Secretary of State for Wales, as the Conservative Party look to appoint someone more competent and engaging into the role.
Trump baby will join Theresa May’s cabinet after he’s finished flying over Parliament Square today, and may even be drafted in to support Brexit negotiations.
Conservative Party spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “Its a bold appointment by the PM. Alun Cairns is one fifth the size of the 20ft blimp for starters.
“One of the preliminary concerns was how we’d fit Trump baby through the doors in Westminster, but fortunately Boris and David’s massive heads left some considerably large holes when they left.”
Penlan resident Theresa Connell said: “This is an appointment I can get on board with. Trump baby proved himself more passionate about Wales than Mr Cairns the moment he was blown up with hot air.
“Trump baby also seems like he’d be a good listener. I could talk about my gripes with the Tidal Lagoon with him and very easily start talking about my recently failed relationship.”
Trump baby added: “It was either Secretary of State for Wales or be recycled into a bouncy castle.
“There’s talk of me joining the Brexit negotiation team next because I managed to blurt our a more coherent Brexit plan than Theresa May’s when Liam Fox accidentally cut off my air supply.
“It’s been a busy period for me but for today I’m just focusing on the job in hand.”