That loveable, bumbling, selfish, racist Boris Johnson is going to come to Swansea and make us all a nice cup of tea, so we can all forget how destitute he and his abhorrent party have made people.

Johnson, the cheeky rascal who everyone chortles along with like he’s the opposite of what he is, hopes to make amends with the city’s black and Asian community, families in poverty and anyone who he’s been involved in marginalising for political or personal gain – with PG Tips and mugs he stole from charity shops.

Resident Pete Bowen said: “My family have to visit food banks and Universal Credit has put me in rent arrears in my hovel of a home. Tory policies all backed by Boris.

“But isn’t BoJo jokes? What a legend! Making cups of tea for the reporters after stirring up a load of racial hatred for something he probably doesn’t event believe to be the case.

“I hope he has a Cream Egg mug when he comes here!”

Theresa Connell from Morriston added: “My friend who wears a niqab has been abused in the street ever since his comments which likened her to a bank robber. She can’t leave the house with her children because of it.

“Did you see when he wouldn’t answer any questions about his troubling right wing rhetoric though, just mumbling about cups of tea. How hilarious! He should really run the country now.”

Brynhyfryd man Rob Gray said: “Here’s a guy who cheats on his wife, lies to everyone and even provides information to have someone beaten up.

“He blatantly lied to influence the Brexit vote. Is lying to take advantage of the rise of the right wing and exploit people who are dull enough to think his suggestions are meaningful.

“His hair is funny though, isn’t it? Did you see his shorts too? He had really really shit shorts on! You have to admire the total prick, right?”

photo credit: U.S. Department of State <a href=”″>Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs Johnson Signs Secretary Tillerson’s Guestbook Before Their Meeting in Washington</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a&gt; <a href=””>(license)</a&gt;