A Mansleton woman who’s been off her box in Ibiza for two weeks is to reveal the secrets behind her rapid weight loss.
23 year old Theresa Connell lost nearly two stone during her holiday to the White Isle, and plans to share the secret of her flat tummy success via her new weight loss blog.
Theresa said: “Do you want to lose weight and still have fun? What if I told you that you could stay out all night, sleep all day and have no appetite for food whatsoever?
“If you think that sounds too good to be true, then you need to follow my new blog ‘Lean Gurning’.
“If you were like me two weeks ago, worried about how you look in a bikini, then follow my step by step guide to losing weight, serotonin and ability to dream normally.”
Theresa continued: “Due to the Ibiza element the diet has a hedonistic influence, which involves being at one with music and double dropping high strength pills.
“You can drink whatever you like up until 11pm, but after that first disco biscuit it’s strictly water until you hit 5am and inhale some green. Greens are very important in any balanced diet, as any dietician will tell you.
“I found I could pass out on a deck chair or cheap hotel bed and then sleep until 8pm the following night, when I’d just repeat the process.
“Two weeks later, I’m two stone lighter and while I’m dreaming about being murdered by gremlins, dehydrated and with blood in my snot, I look great.
“Take me back to seshlehem.”
photo credit: ¡Carlitos <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/10297518@N00/11051276444″>Hed Kandi – 10 years in Ibiza</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a>