A man who isn’t a complete bellend found himself surrounded by complete bellends at a breakfast networking event in the Village Hotel yesterday morning.

32 year old Insurance Sales Manager Pete Bowen thought he’d try out the early morning event to see if it would be possible to meet people with some substance, but was left disappointed.

Pete said: “I’ve avoided these kind of events in the past because I assumed they were attended by overly happy people who don’t achieve much outside of handing out business cards and talking themselves up. Which is exactly what this was.

“I should’ve bolted when I was approached by ‘Delyth’ by the stale bacon baps, who introduced herself as a ‘Solutions Architect’ for entrepreneurs.

“She introduced me to Rob who works in finance, not for anyone or any specific type of finance, but he was clearly shrewd as I noticed he was bagging up all of the free pastries.”

‘Business Influencer’ Theresa Connell said: “He wasn’t like a lot of people I meet on the networking circuit, he had this odd demeanour about him, like he was expecting an outcome from all of this.

“I was telling him about all of the free stuff I give to companies I want to talk about myself to, but he just wanted to know what ‘results’ it was giving me. I really don’t think he gets networking.”

‘Enterprise Practitioner’ Cheryl Gray continued: “I was trying to explain my role as a cross sector innovation consultant, but he just seemed to have this gormless look on his face. It was strange because I’m not sure how clearer I could’ve been about the job title I gave myself.

“He asked if I hoped to achieve anything from the event, but I was eating the free food and drinking the free cup of tea when he asked?”

Pete added: “Someone masquerading as a ‘Social Media Guru’ asked me to take a selfie and hashtag with #BizBreakfastSwanseaVillageHotelSA1 and seemed genuinely convinced that would lead to the sale of some liability insurance.

“Instead my wife saw it and now she wants a divorce.”

photo credit: AIIM Photos <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/75848129@N07/40692874124″>IMG_9677</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;