With the introduction of the new digital phone boxes in Swansea City Centre, we’ve pulled together a guide for those born before 1995 who used an old BT phone box for one reason or another.

As Swansea introduces the glossy 21st century phone boxes, against a backdrop of 20th century architectural misery, it’s sensible to be mindful that you can’t do certain things with the new additions like you could back in the day.

Here’s your list of what you can’t do that you once could:

  • If you smash the new boxes repeatedly with a hammer for half an hour, no money will come out;
  • Using a BT Phonecard to call your Mam to tell you’ll be late for tea won’t work. Although calls are free so you won’t be grounded when the phone bill arrives;
  • You can’t roll a spliff in the rain as there’s no cover anymore, so your skins and your weed will get wet;
  • It won’t be an intimate place to drunkenly try and fornicate. Although the old phone boxes weren’t as discrete as you thought they were in your drunken mind, because they were usually lit;
  • You can’t make heavy breathing phone calls. Unfortunately as there’s no handset the impact won’t be as creepy as it was back in the day, technology doesn’t improve everything;
  • You can’t smash the glass on these. If you do the weird lanky lad from My Family comes out and locks you into a 24 month BT Broadband deal;
  • Don’t urinate on them, unlike the old ones these have cameras and they will photograph your bits. You’ll then be blackmailed into paying Maureen Lipman with Bitcoin to stop her emailing the images to your boss.

It’s not all bad news though, if you’re partial to prank calling the emergency services for example, you’ll only need to press a button once as opposed to hitting ‘9’ three times.

photo credit: kthtrnr <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/71918853@N06/32554399146″&gt;.</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;