As the Collins Dictionary adds ‘gammon’ as their word of the year, we’ve teamed up with a medical expert to provide an insight into the gammon and the symptoms that make someone all gammony.
Abertawe Bro Morgannwg Doctor Pete Bowen explains below the phenomenon of the angry middle aged white man, who often doesn’t know his sexism from his racism.
Dr Bowen said: “There’s a number of complex physical, emotional and personality traits to look for when you’re worried about gammonitus. It often starts with men in their 30s sharing Facebook memes as if they’re real.
“We’ve studied the angry gammon for the last six months and have categorised these traits into this handy guide.”
“The gammon will be permanently pink, often with judgemental eyes and with a mouth that droops angrily in the corners, like a semi-gurn.
“For someone who goes from pink when permanently upset with everything, to raging red when reading about homosexuals in the army, they wear colours which don’t compliment their face palette.
“They often inexplicably limp too, and aren’t afraid to manspread when in the company of fellow gammons.”
“A Brexit voter, the gammon will swallow inflammatory phrases from the Daily Mail and Daily Express like a Lewis’s pie. They store these to use freely on occasions where they’re out of their depth.
“There’s no logic or reasoning behind a gammon’s mindset, so expect to hear: “blah, blah, Diane Abbott. Blah, blah, bankrupt the country. Blah, blah terrorist lover.”
“The gammon also thinks the country’s economy is like their personal bank account and that the country is an immigrant on £45k a year in benefits away from not paying its gas bill.”
The gammon’s culture is one of blame and nobody is safe. Whether it’s the EU, the ethnic person who’s opened a business or the ‘snowflake’.
“The snowflake is the gammon’s foe, or someone who disagrees with them. Although ironically it is the gammon who will be easily offended by almost anything and will take to Internet message boards under Farage related pseudonyms to vent.
“The gammon is easily confused by things which are different to what they know and lack the ability to understand. Despite often having wide heads, their minds are often very narrow, meaning a typical gammon can’t digest sexuality, gender or avocado.
“This is why the typical gammon is so homophobic, transphobic, sexist and anti-women.”
“In familiar surroundings the gammon comes into their own. They sit in a house which has exploded in value through chance, criticising young people who have the same level of job they had 30 years ago but can’t afford to save a deposit.
“Food is often roasted meat, with leftovers chucked into the black bin because recycling is for lefties.
“When watching television with the gammon, one needs to be prepared for excessive foot tapping, eye rolling and comments such as ‘when will all this madness end’, the recent support for Phillip Green has been astonishing amongst the community. After all, the gammon does believe women speaking up about abuse demonises men.
“Recently, our subjects had strong feelings about why the Great British Bake Off didn’t have all white contestants and whether it should’ve been called the Great Pesky Foreigner Bake Off instead.”