A suspicious looking little package seen in Swansea last week turned out to be the Secretary of State for Wales.
Authorities had been alerted to a ‘small and dangerous looking’ package by concerned members of the public, who feared that the MAGA bomb threats in America may have found their way to South Wales.
Spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “The public were understandably worried following the dodgy packages that were sent to various high profile figures in America. But on this occasion it was Alun Cairns, who’s supposed to work for us or something.
“Hilary Clinton, a MAGA bomber target, was in Swansea University not so long ago and that’s a sobering thought for the people of Jersey Marine. Can you imagine the improvements a large explosion would make there?”
Worried resident Theresa Connell said: “I was nervous anyway because I’d read Liam Fox was coming here. Then I saw this suited little device on tippy toes posing for a picture and just freaked out.
“I had to report it, when I found out it was our Secretary of State I was temporarily relieved, but then decided a bomb would be better.”
Bowen added: “We’d like to thank everyone for remaining vigilant and wish to reassure everyone that Mr Cairns will probably be in London now for at least another six months, inflicting misery on Wales from a distance.”
photo credit: Department for Transport (DfT) <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/39603427@N08/31476940763″>Severn Crossing tolls consultation</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>