Huw Jenkins has announced that his next move in football will be to become Chairman of Cwm Albion and lead them to the top half of the Swansea Senior League Division 1.

Jenkins, admired, hated and then admired again over the last 15 years, announced the plans in front of 12 fans. The 12 delivered the biggest crowd seen at Cwm Level Park since Swansea doggers held their AGM on the centre circle of pitch one.

Albion Committee member Pete Bowen said: “It was very busy on the day of the announcement. Panda Motors haven’t had to tell people to get the f**k out of their car park since the Albion nearly finished one from bottom in May 2010.

“Huw has some ambitious but well thought out plans. First of all we’ll stage an audacious comeback culminating in a dramatic 4-2 home victory against North End on the last day of the season.

“After that, he’ll employ our slightly cultural midfielder Rob as player-coach because of his connections in the Spanish tobacco market.

“Eventually, Rob will leave us for for CRC because of Rob’s affiliation with Tir Canol where he lost his virginity after a house party in Morriston in ‘94.”

Bowen continued: “After our move from Cwm Level pitch one to Cwm Level pitch two our fortunes will change. We’ll eventually move to Division 1 and win the Swansea League Cup!”

Cwm Albion supporter Theresa Connell said: “We’ll create an outstanding model for other clubs to follow.

“There’s talk of investment into the club to fund new kits and footballs and Huw has done a deal with the very first people he’s spoken to.

“It’s hard to know what could possibly go wrong.”

Advertisements