Swansea City legend Alan Curtis will spend the summer leaving post it notes all over the Liberty Stadium to help staff cope without him.
Club hero Curtis, 65, will commence a four month handover process with HR today to make sure players remember which end to score goals in and the hospitality staff know where the good tea bags are kept.
Swans spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “We have no idea how we’re going to continue without Alan. If he’s not clearing the photocopier jam he’s chairing the Christmas Party committee. He had his hand in everything, and soon he’ll be gone.
“Not many people know this but we had an FA youth cup game against Shrewsbury in ‘93 and the floodlights failed down the Vetch. Alan, a keen Eldorado fan, turned his programme off and came down to help. His smile lit the pitch up and the game went on.
“We lost 5-0 because we were shit at the time; but that tells you all you need to know about the man.”
HR Manager Theresa Connell said: “Alan is a top coach and the players love him. That’s going to be hard to replace.
“On top of that he recently wrote our GDPR policy and developed our new performance appraisals. To be honest I’ve been coasting and now I don’t know what I’ll do when he’s gone.”
The club owners added: “We’d like to wish Elon a happy retirement from the soccer club.
“Elon is a Swansea United legend and we’re only too happy to sell shirts with his name on the back if there’s commercial demand.”