An abusive man who regularly visits A&E with minor ailments is to join in with celebrations for International Nurses’ Day today by ‘not punching the nursing staff so hard’.

46 year old Pete Bowen from Brynhyfryd will make his 26th pointless trip of the year to A&E later this morning because he belligerently and drunkenly believes that his tickly throat is a terminal illness.

Bowen said: “I think the nurses having a special day is good, even if they do keep me waiting for 6 hours every time I come here because of ‘staff shortages’ and ‘poor budgets’.

“That being said I’m paying their wages, or I would be if I paid tax, so if I turn up steaming drunk on a Sunday morning with a diagnosis I’ve found on Google and I’m cast to one side, then I will get punchy. It is my right to do so.”

Bowen continued: “I will continue to sit in the waiting room tutting and I will continue to harass staff when young and elderly people with ‘serious’ conditions are seen before me.

“But I will ease up when I swing at the nurses today, because some people are time wasters and that’s probably mildly annoying for the staff.”

A&E nurse Theresa Connell said: “I’m missing my child’s birthday today to do a 12 hour shift where I’ll be abused and bled on.

“This is what we do though. And for a real time wage cut of around 12%. I’m looking forward to a day of recognition though and that celebratory cupcake that I won’t have time to eat because we care and we’re f**king awesome.”