A man who will be watching the air show out at sea on his boat this weekend wants you to give him attention.
Boat owner Pete Bowen, 52, has confirmed that he’ll be ‘dropping anchor’ in full view of everyone and is demanding admiration because he has one more boat than you.
Bowen said: “The air show is a fantastic event for everyone but it’s even better when you have a boat, which you’ll probably have to take my word for.
“The planes fly right overhead and they appreciate that we boat bellends are a lot like RAF pilots really. Captains of our own destiny.”
Bowen continued: “When your wife looks out to sea and says that’s how she’d like to be enjoying the event then just think of me as the man who could make that possible.
“Oh, is that a can of Strongbow Dark Fruits you’re drinking? I can’t see it over my champagne flute.”
Pleb Theresa Connell said: “I’m not denying that watching it all on a boat would be good but then I’d also be mindful of people thinking I was a prick.
“Plus I’m not sure how my dealer would reach me with my drugs.”
Bowen added: “I’m going to tie my jumper around my neck now to cement my status as bellend of the bay.”