A Gendros man chose his wife’s expensive new moisturiser to help soothe his freshly shaven testicles, it has emerged.
The move by Pete Bowen, 34, followed his bi-annual manscaping session yesterday, but was met with disapproval from his wife.
Bowen said: “It was definitely time to have a tidy up down there. It was like a wild gorse bush you find up Cefn Bryn.
“It’s nice to have it all nicely trimmed, makes you feel fresher and less restricted. It has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to look bigger.”
Bowen continued: “In hindsight, using a disposal Asda razor to carry out my loin art was a mistake. All of my usual ‘shave along the grain’ principles were thrown out of the window and I ended up going to town on myself like a toddler drawing on a wall with a felt tip pen.
“It was all smooth to begin with, but it didn’t take long for the itching to set in. I needed douse the flames quickly and what’s hers is mine, so I reached for her new cream.
“In the end it was a smart move. Not only did it have the cooling effect I was after, but I also realised I could become wrinkle free down there. It’s a win-win.”
Pete’s wife Theresa said: “You don’t just get this stuff in Boots. It comes in the post every month and costs me £39.99.
“Can you imagine my horror when I opened it up this morning to see huge finger imprints and two short curly hairs?
“The the moisturiser ‘reduces and fine lines and restores skin’s youth and radiance’ for the money I pay. It’s not meant for the testicles of a man in his mid-30s.”