Bellends across Swansea welcomed the new decade in by setting off loud fireworks until well after midnight with their obnoxious friends, it has emerged.
The bellends, usually with small hands and/or going through a midlife crisis of some description, took the opportunity to celebrate the dawn of a new decade by waking up small children and scaring animals.
Bellend Pete Bowen said: “I spent a few hundred quid on fireworks this year because I can’t afford a Porsche. Fireworks are a pretty decent way to show what a dickhead I am without breaking the bank.
“Instead of celebrating with friends I instead spent the early part of 2020 wowing everyone by standing in the garden and being as loud as I can.”
Neighbour Theresa Connell said: “Every year Pete does more and more to try and be an impressive man and the fireworks get louder and louder as he fails.
“I think we all expect some noise at midnight but I don’t know why he has to keep going.
“I suppose it’s something that just happens to people who can’t maintain an erection.”