The police have admitted that facial recognition cameras won’t work on Cardiff fans on Sunday because generational interbreeding means they all look too similar.
The force also confirmed because the Bluebirds, Redbirds, whatever they call themselves nowadays, are so poorly supported every week ‘most of the faces would be unrecognisable anyway’.
Inspector Pete Bowen said: “We thought cutting edge facial recognition software would would really well until we realised we’d just be capturing thousands of Sloths from The Goonies.
“We did a quick walk around the city picturing different people in Cardiff City merchandise and the software couldn’t tell them apart.”
Bowen continued: “The other issue we’ve found is they don’t have a remotely dedicated fan base, so unless we’ve snapped them emerging from their parents’ basements previously we won’t know who they are.
“It’s not easy for us because we’ve had to sit through hours of Cardiff games to try and find familiar faces. Have you ever tried to watch Cardiff attempt to play football? I’d rather look through a priests hard drive.”