A new lane is to be introduced on the Severn Bridge which will divert holidaymakers entering Wales straight back to their primary homes.

The special lane, which will be aimed at very special types of people, opened overnight following Boris Johnson taking steps to hand responsibility over to the English public so that he can blame them when the infection starts spreading again.

Welsh Government spokesperson Pete Bowen said: “We anticipated that the Prime Minister would be supplying some slack in the rope for England to hang themselves with, so got to work on the new lane early.

“We’ve narrowed the car lanes and introduced a wider lane for mobile homes which have pictures of caravans in crayon with arrows so they’ll understand that’s the lane they have to use.

“Once they divert off they’ll join a road which with no turn off points and lead them straight back home. For authenticity we’ve added road signs in Welsh, but if you translated them they’d say things like ‘stay at home you tw*t’ instead of ‘welcome to Wales’.

Bath couple Rob and Cheryl Gray were the first to use the lane this morning. Rob said: “We left early to avoid the police and quite enjoyed the fact we had our own special lane.

“In a couple of hours we’d reached our destination and it was such a home from home experience we felt like we were parked in our own driveway again.”