Sweat drenched men on bikes have swiftly reclaimed the promenade as their own as news of relaxations to lockdown were announced.
The men, of all ages and often operating in sexually frustrated groups, have descended on the stretch of tarmac with glorious views to reassert their authority over families and people who want a quiet walk while wearing inoffensive clothes.
Bike bellend Pete Bowen, 42, said: “I’d like to see coronavirus try to catch me when I’m in full flow. It’s not going to happen, especially after Sports Direct had a sale on cycling gear a few weeks ago.
“Before I hit Ripples I usually unzip my Lycra top to unveil the goods to the crowds.
“But I’m not here to be playful and erotic with my dead skin flaked chest hair, sorry, I’m here to ride my bike closely to you to remind you why you shouldn’t be walking in the space where I cycle and fantasise about being something I’m not.”
Man with bell on his bike Rob Gray, 39, said: “Can you hear me panting like a dog in the back seat of your car in the middle of July? If you can’t then I’ll disrupt your family walk by ringing my loud bell.
“Oh, so you don’t like that I’ve met up with my mates while there’s a pandemic on? If you’re lucky me or one of the boys will make a derogatory comment about your wife when we ride past you.
“When you’re walking home I’ll be sat by Blackpill Lido drinking a Koppaberg and man spreading.
“Make sure to check out my various bulges and tribal tattoos so you know what a real man looks like.”