A controversial stand has been confirmed for the upcoming Swansea University fresher’s fair, run by creepy men masquerading as ‘sugar daddies’.
The stand will be run by midlife crisis afflicted men in pin striped suits who have a light dusting of dandruff on their shoulders and who smell like your Dad’s car.
Sugar Daddy Pete Bowen said: “I’m the right sort of age to still think young women are defenceless creatures who need a father figure when they move away from home.
“In exchange I’ll provide a bountiful supply of Tesco own brand Corn Flakes and make all the Dad noises she wants.”
Fellow Sugar Daddy Rob Gray said: “I’m a massive fan of my 18 year old daughter’s friends, so this seemed like the natural thing for me to do.
“I’m not even that rich, but I’m richer than most of them and that makes me feel like a big man, which is important because I seem to be shrinking and I was only 5’6” anyway.”